Dear S

I have a friend and I love to send him things I find out on the interwebs. It's good; we have a very similar sense of humor and, truth be told, I miss him during the day so I feel better when I send him these little tidbits. The problem? I feel like I send him a frillion emails a day and I don't want to pester him. The solution? Instead of emailing him, make a tumblr post and pester the whole world.

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Jul 15

“

MOM 1: Fucking Homeowners Association cocksuckers. Are they so slow in the ass-fucking cerebrum as to not allow a goddamned simple, commonplace, gullet-pleasing peanut-fucking-butter sandwich on the premises of their fucking pool patio?

MOM 2: Fucking power-hungry vulturine twats is what they are, that Homeowners Association you speak of.

MOM 1: I mean, fuck me if I’m gonna take the three angelic fucking spawn of my hooch and force them to hunker their tiny selves down in the back of the sweltering cocksucking Odyssey just to masticate a PB&J and imbibe some goddamned Mott’s. Fuck….

”

AN OVERHEARD
CONVERSATION
AT THE SUBURBAN
NEIGHBORHOOD POOL,
IF THE SUBURBAN
NEIGHBORHOOD POOL
WERE IN DEADWOOD.

All conversations are hilarious in Deadwoodese

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