Dear S

yourmonkeycalled:

I talk to myself in the style of a professional wrestler every time I take out the trash.

Remember when my mom wanted me to print those entire websites for her? I should totally submit that here. 

postcardsfromyomomma:

I have been re-reading several of your past emails. Dad prints them out for me since he is always on the computer and I never am. I prefer reading “letters” rather than staring at a screen. I have several questions and comments.

Concerning your last email, I don’t understand how your friend is such a poor businessman when he has an MBA from Wharton, which was the number 1 business school in the country at the time.

You told me to give Alice my recipe. NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! It is the only thing I make well and therefore will never share that recipe. It still makes me feel good that Coach even mentioned it in his speech at the end-of-season banquet.

I am forwarding on an email that was written before and was not sent, concerning Dave.

Love,
Mom

topherchris:

When emailing a screenshot of your web-browser to IT to illustrate a problem, be sure to have a few tabs open for “midget porn,” “how to dispose of a body - Google Search,” and other interesting/eclectic topics. This action will immediately move your request to the top of the priorities list within your IT department.